i am nothing...

So i finally finished The Heavenly Man... wow! I think the Lord intended for me to read this book during this season of my life! I was so convicted by it and learned so much about faith through it! On the last two pages i found 2 quotes that really spoke to my heart at where i am in my walk right now:
"We are absolutely nothing. We have nothing to be proud about. We have no abillities and nothing to offer God. The fact that He chooses to use us is only due to His Grace. It has nothing to do with us. If God should choose to raise up others for His Purpose and never use us again we would have nothing to complain about."
ya.. just soak that up... praise the Lord that He chooses to use us!! Here's the other one which REALLY spoke to my heart:
"Death is not the end for a servant of God, but just the start of indescribable everlasting life in the presence of Jesus."
I'm not going to even say anything.. praise God! Today i started Captivating.. soo good.. and i have another really good quote from that which is speaking to me as well:
"Oh weary, tired and worn let out your sighs and drop that heavy load you hold cuz mine is light. I know you through and through there's no need to hide. I want to show you love that is deep and high and wide."
Oh Lord that I would drop my heavy load at Your Feet! Well.. tomorrow i am going to arlington to spend time with david's family and all of his roommates and closest friends and we are going to celebrate his 21st birthday together. Pray that the Lord will do great things this weekend and that all the words and thoughts will bring glory and praise to Him alone!!
Have a beautiful day and "radiate" the King!! (psalm 34:5)

Strong Tower..

Here are some lyrics from my favorite song at this very moment... "Strong Tower" by Kutless

When I'm walking through the desert
And I feel like I'm alone
You are everything i need

Now I'm running to Your Mountain
Cuz Your Mercy sets me free

You are MY STRONG TOWER
Shelter over me
Beautiful and Mighty
Everlasting King
You are MY STRONG TOWER
Fortress when I'm weak
Your Name is True and Holy
And Your Face is all I seek

Ironically enough.. this was one of david's favorite songs before he died.. ya it definitely applie to all aspects of my life right now!
Praise the Lord from whom ALL Blessings flow!

Great things He has done...

I stand amazed at all the great things that the Lord is doing in my life and the lives around me. It is so apparent that we serve a LIVING God who changes others lives for eternity!! One of the most amazing things these past 3 weeks to watch is just the life change and the impact for eternity that david's death has made. I will just list a few of them:
-Nick Enriquez was able to lead his entire cabin to the Lord plus another guy who had come to kamp homosexual but was able to turn his life around and see that he wasn't born homosexual but it was the sin inside him corrupting himself. All of this because of david's death!
-Sheridan Fielding is getting the opportunity to share with her cousin who is not a believer. She has never had the door to talk about the Lord to him and he lost his best friend 2 years ago, so she is allowed the opportunity to talk about death and the hope that is there.
-Derek Devine was able to build a relationship with a fellow counselor at his camp and share with him the Gospel since this counselor also lost his mom to cancer about 2 years ago.
-David Caulkins has been able to share with his friend James who he has been building a friendship with during the spring semester the Gospel because James had a friend who knew mr.dave before he died.
-My brother was able to witness to a muslim guy who showed up at david's visitation at the funeral home. He knew david from high school and was the basketball manager of the Lamar varsity team. When my brother asked him what set david apart from others, he replied the way he lived his life and how important his faith in the Lord was to him. He saw a difference in david's life and started searching for the Lord!!
There are numerous more accounts of what the Lord is doing!! Praise God that He is making life changes daily!! David died but his testimony is TRULY living on!!!!
I read this verse in my quiet time this morning and thought it was very applicable:
"Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders you have done. The things you have planned for us no one can recount to you; were i to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare." Psalm 40:5

Live a radical life for the Lord today! Pursue Him passionately!!!

Its only the beginning...

Today has been a new day. I'm just realizing how rough life truly can be. I can't imagine living in this world, going through daily struggles, decisions, and tragedies and not having the Lord to rely on or to look to for hope. I feel so silly sometimes for shedding tears because I know the Lord looks down and says, "MY child, do not fear. I have you completely in my hands. Let go and let me handle your stuff. TRUST ME for I am the Lord YOUR God!" But as a selfish child, I want to scream "YES!!" but most of the time my actions proclaim "no".

One of my favorite characteristics of the Lord is His Faithfulness. Faithfulness. Can you imagine? A God MORE faithful than the sun rising and the sun setting each day. Faithfulness. And yet, He is more dependable to run to than the sun! There is a song by Skillet that states: "He's more faithful than the morning sun. He's more faithful though the night will come. He's been more faithful than the changing of seasons." If we truly believed that, do you think more would depend on Him with their everything? Thats a challenge I'm raising daily to myself.

I received an amazing quote from Paige Laura Holt in the mail yesterday.

"You will ask me, are you satisfied? Have you got all you want? God forbid. With the deepest feeling of my sould I can say that I am satisfied with Jesus now but there is also the consciousness of how much fuller the revelation can be of the exceeding abundance of His Grace. let us never hesitate to say, this is only the BEGINNING!"

Life has been tough lately. He never said it was going to be easy. But He did say that He would be there to hold our hand and guide us through it. How cool is it that i am at a point in my walk, in my life where I truly have to say, "Lord, I can't do this on my own. When I try, I end up breaking down in my room in tears. I JUST NEED YOU."