grace. how sweet the sound. grace. that saved a wretch like me.
Anyone else misconstrue the meaning of grace in their minds earlier on in life? I remember grace was a song you sang about at church. Grace was the prayer you said with your family holding hands before diving into a delectable feast. {don't forget the Baptist squeeze at the end after the word "amen"} Grace was a girl's name at school or one of my camper's names at Kanakuk. But, it wasn't sweet to me? It didn't break me with a heart of gratitude. I felt entitled to it, because I was a good person.
Then, I hit my sophomore year of college, and everything was shattered before me.
I had a sick, self-seeking, idolatrous view of God's gift of grace to me. I thought of myself as a "good" person, not really doing anything too terrible, except maybe getting a few parking tickets on campus and staying out until 4 a.m. {ooo.. rebel} So, my view of grace was that it was for those people who really, i mean really, screwed up externally and had not honored the Lord with their actions and truly needed a Savior.
All of this so-called Jenn's theology fell to the floor and shattered when I realized I really wasn't good. I really do need a Savior. I love these verses in Jonah 2:7-9:
"When my life was ebbing away, I remembered you, Lord, and my prayer rose to you, to your holy temple. Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs. But I, with a song of thanksgiving, will sacrifice to you. What I have vowed I will make good. Salvation comes from the LORD."
You see, I was making myself, my works, and my reputation an idol that I served and forfeiting the beautiful grace that could have been mine. My joy was not made complete, and I was tired of putting on this act of being O-K all the time.
Whoever might read this eclectic blog of mine, I pray that if you hear one thing you hear this: We are all at the core messed up, depraved, a product of humanity and sin entering the world. We deserve death. We deserve to be judged justly for our actions. Even in my best attempt at good, the roots, the crannies, the motives are tainted and making myself the idol. No one is left out of this. We are all hypocrites.
But, what a beautiful thing when Christ comes down to earth, lives life without sin, and takes our place in judgement. We receive His Righteousness in His Death. How unworthy! Even at my best, I have done NOTHING to closely deserve this.
"For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person - though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die - but God demonstrates His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." {Romans 5:6-8}
Praise be to Him! May our hearts GET THIS and burst with the gratitude that is coupled when grace pierces our hearts and shows us our depravity.
I could write more about this.. but may you understand what grace REALLY means for you. Not something to stomp all over and live the life you do since you are under grace.. No. May we continue in gratitude and use our bodies, our gifts, our talents, to point everything back to Him.
grace. how sweet the sound. grace. that saved a wretch like me.
