changes. ch ch changes.

So, i'm feeling really broken right now. i just keep crying a whole lot and can't stop. Did you ever go through a time like that?? I cried on the way to work, cried on the way to Starbucks, started crying walking into tom landry this morning.. i'm feeling incredibly broken right now and it's a beautiful thing but so hard too. i have been praying or just thinking about how i have wanted the Lord to soften my heart and make it weak to His touch. I want to love what He loves, strive for what matters, and see daily, minute by minute, the opportunities He has laid out before me. i just can't stop crying and i think that's also a mixture of exhaustion as well as brokenness.

I am starting to realize more and more how much this life is pressed for time. time is an issue for everyone. "Oh, I just can't do that. I don't have enough time." "Wow. I'm just way too busy. Sorry." "I'm exhausted right now. I just don't have the time to do that." Everyone is busy in their own mind. We all think that what we have is more important than someone else. Its so selfish and sickening to say that, but it is so true. I realize, even more recently, that the more my time gets squeezed, sometimes the harder it is to say no to people I care about and make time for reading and alone time. Even when i want to read, sometimes i get a sudden case of ADD where i can't focus and i can't open my Bible. Or there is the other extreme when all of a sudden I just want to diagnose myself with a bad case of narcolepsy. Either way, I see how important and vital my time is with my growth as a woman hoping to become more like Him. With this importance, it is evident that the enemy wants to distract, busy, and attack any attempt of time pursuing Him. I have felt this and I'm sure you have to at some point or another. Just some thoughts on struggles recently..

Speaking of busy times, this month is going to be crazy. I feel as if I'm not going to even stop and have a chance to process all of the changes. (cue music "changes.. ch ch changes") I will list you out just what it looks like:

*6 more days of internship, including presentation to the entire staff on Thursday.
*Drive to College Station and final presentation as well as portfolio. (Monday-Tuesday)
*Drive back the next day and move into my new apartment:) (Wednesday)
*Drive back to College Station the next day (Thursday) and get ready for graduation.
*Graduate 9 a.m. from Texas A&M. College = Officially over.
*Family Surprise Weekend Getaway (Friday afternoon through Sunday evening)
*Drive back to Dallas with Jay and Meg (Sunday)
*Start training at Equinox, the real world J-O-B (Wednesday)

So, all of this rambling, and yes it was rambling. Maybe my ADD carried over from my quiet time. Anyways, all of this to say, pray for me in this time. Hopefully, I will process all of this eventually. And if you see me and I might seem a little out of it, just know either i'm ADD or just going through a lot:)